blog 8: more than enough

You have to get to a place where Jesus is more than enough. Even if you end up with nothing . Didn’t get the guy ,finances suck, marriage is in shambles ,world is going crazy. He is all you need. Now if your stomach sank as you read that then I encourage you to read on or if you’re nodding your head like YESSS then enjoy this blog.

Let’s be real this is life. Life doesn’t always have a happy ending. But how do we get to that place where Jesus truly is all we need? How do we fall totally in love with Jesus ? How do we find confidence in Him really being the ONLY thing we need?It sounds nice to think of but how does that actual happen? 

TESTIMONY TIME! lol

Well for me ..it started when I had nothing else . I ran out of options . AA , therapy , medication , exercise, counseling, while all that did helped a bit it just did not give me full freedom .

To be totally honest I had been in the hospital a few times .Panic attack episodes, self cutting, I was literally going crazy.

I was so tired but the drugs and the thoughts of all the ugly things I had done and things done to me would just play in my head over and over and over again. So I would need something to silence those thoughts . Which lead me on a vicious cycle of self medicating.

Until my brother actually had his own episode . He legit was demon possessed . Voices speaking out of him and all. He had opened a door to allow the devil to latch onto him. Long long story really short . Instead of taking him to the hospital and calling him 51/50 and diagnosing him as a schizophrenic . He was able to tell my parents he had opened a door . Which made my parents realize what they were dealing with . It was not flesh and blood but spiritual. They ended up at my aunt and uncles house where they prayed over him and BAM! Voices gone! Addiction gone! Fully delivered just like that!

Which leads me back to myself . My brother now starts going to church and my sister in law keeps inviting me every single Sunday. Every time I say “yeah maybe”. I wasn’t anti church or God . I knew about Him but that was it. I remember being so anxious to go into the building I took a few xanex just to get through the door. I attended for a few Sundays until the 3rd Sunday I ended up raising my hand for salvation which I knew nothing about but the way the Pastor preached I needed that Jesus he was talking about . The one who could heal me who could free me from myself. I needed THAT. So I went up and said the sinners prayer which just means I believed in my heart that Jesus is who He says He is and could heal me.

Now after that nothing changed . My problems were still the same. Same drama, same thoughts ,my past hadn’t just disappeared but something was different . I knew I didn’t want to drink or smoke so I was trying to abstain from that. Which meant no more friends , no more ‘social life’ everything I ever known and lived I no longer did. I was truly living in repentance without even knowing it (turning away from sin) Which leads me to the moment Jesus became enough for me . 

It was a worship night at church which again had no idea what that meant. As I started driving to the church, I could hear what now I know to be the enemies voice in my head . He was reminding me any and every terrible thing in my life. One of his famous lies to us is “don’t forget when…”. As I’m driving I now start to feel sick to my stomach. I remember crying and even telling Jesus , “I’m sorry Jesus but I need a drink” I remember literally holding my head the voice was so loud BUT somehow I ended up at the church . I went in and I remember the worship leader at the time asked everyone to lift their hands . So I did it. 

Right then I had an encounter with Jesus.

As I closed my eyes there was a bright silhouette of a man with his hand stretched out . It was just the outline of his body that I seen bright like gold on the right side of my peripheral  . He said  “I’m here, I’m with you. I’m here I’m with you” he said it twice. 

Right then I opened my eyes and worship leader said “I’m not sure who this is for but Jesus wants you to know that he’s here he’s with you” 

I was in awe!!! 

Now quick side note! I’ve done some crazy things , some crazy psychedelics before but NOTHING I’ve ever experienced was like this . Ever! 

I literally drove home with my mouth wide open . Like what the heck just happened! 

You see I was really really REALLY seeking freedom. 

I was really really going against what I wanted the drugs the alcohol. 

I really really really wanted a change . 

I wasn’t sure how that looked or what that entailed I just knew I couldn’t live how I was any longer. 

You see when you seek God like that! You WILL find Him . My mind was made up before I ever met Him and He knew that. He knew I was seeking something . He knew I needed Him. He knew I was done with the world . He knew. Jesus knows when you’re for real or not.

In the Bible there is a women who is sick with an issue of blood. Basically home girl is having her period 12 years without ending! 12 years!!! Omg can you imagine ! Horrible! She needs a miracle not only is this terrible for her but she’s an outcast because she’s seen as unclean. This is where she seeks Him. I’m sure she didn’t know much about Jesus but she heard just like we all have heard “He can heal you”.

She was like I need that! 

What does she do?? She thinks “okay let me just touch him. Let me just get a little touch from Him and I’ll be healed.” So here’s Jesus walking with a huge crowd around him.  Everyone is pressing up against him BUT this lady reaches with everything she has and touches just the very fringe of His robe . Just then Jesus stops and says who touched me? The disciples are like, “ahh we’re all touching you Jesus everyone’s pushing against you” Jesus then looks around for who touched Him. There’s another account in the bible where he says “I felt healing power leave my body” . Then the women confesses that it was her and he tells her, her faith as made her whole and to go in peace . 

You know what blew my mind is that everyone was touching Jesus . I’m sure people were shoulder to shoulder with him. I’m sure some were pushed into him. But no one was healed BUT this lady, and I’m 100% sure a lot if not all had something they needed healing from . 

So many times we come to church but never get healing. Why? 

Can I ask if we are after Jesus like this lady. Is our faith like her. 

Are we desperate like her? 

She just like me had ran out of options. 

It even says that she had paid doctors lots of money but not only did she not get better she got worse .(ref Mark 5:25-34) 

Look I’ve been in a place where I needed Jesus and then I’ve been in a place where I NEEDED Jesus . There’s a difference. We like to say as Christian’s ya I need Jesus. Hes all I need. But when you’re at a place where everything has crumbled and you actually have nothing .

That’s where you actually seek Jesus and He becomes all that you need. '#IYKYK

I had a need and Jesus filled it . 

He continues to fill it. 

I realized I am nothing without it . 

I have nothing without him.

If you have no need for Jesus in areas of your life you won’t find Him. Sometimes we don’t realize we will give Jesus a part of us but not all of us. Are we bold like this women?Not be ashamed of what people may think. I’ve had to come to a place where I didn’t care what anyone thought. Boogers and all at the alter , i didnt care i was getting my miracle! It says this women was trembling when Jesus was asking who touched Him. Its scary to be vulnerable. Its scary to be bold in faith

BUT THATS WHERE YOU FIND OUT THAT JESUS IS MORE ENOUGH

Ya I feel crazy in my mind . I need Jesus !

Yes I struggle with these thoughts I need Jesus !

Yes I have issues I need Jesus ! 

Hello! Let’s not play like we have it all together . Let’s not pretend like we’re all good! It’s okay! Honestly , for reals come to this place. This is where you actually seek out Jesus and you find Him! He knows when you’re doing just like this women , when you’re actually at that place where you’re out of options. 

Not when you’re seeking Him but in the back of your mind you’re like “well if this doesn’t work I have medication”

If this doesn’t work at least I have ______. 

You fill in the blank . 

NO! 

Healing is when you truly believe Jesus is more than enough 

Freedom comes when you have nothing else left. Friend we were never ever meant to live in turmoil in drama and chaos . As a follower of Christ you were never meant to live struggling constantly. Jesus said:

“I come that you may have life and life more abundantly” John 10:10

“whom the son sets free is indeed” John 8:36

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. 2 Corinthians 12:9

There is freedom , there is healing , there is joy. But the question is , is Jesus enough for you? 

I love you friends, I hope this blessed you.

ONE LOVE